Mediaeval Wargames Academic Study Milan: D-Day 6th June 2023

Slitherine Games held a Mediaeval Warfare Computer Tournament on 6th June 2023 (D-Day!) that will have some analysis done by the University of Winchester, and other notable academics. And I was one of the combatants in the Computer Wargame Tournament pitting simulations of Medieval Armies against each other.

Most people who know me from my Family History work on TV on ITV’s DNA Journey programme, probably won’t know that I have been involved in Wargaming since 1970. I was one of the founding members of the South London Warlords Wargaming Club and have written various historical analyses of ancient Strategy and Tactics for the Society of Ancients. In my Business career I wrote a book called Tactica to help with commercial sales campaigns using the concepts of successful Military Thinking. I used this as the basis of a successful sales career in IT Services, Software, and Hardware.

So I jumped at the chance to go to the Mediaeval City of Milan to be part of this extravaganza of historical simulations. It was informally agreed that each experienced contestant would each choose an army from our respective countries of birth/residence, I found myself in the unenviable position of using an army that represented the opposite of my usual gaming style, a heavily Infantry oriented, 15th century Lancastrian Army. I fully expected to get trounced by better players with heavily armed armies of Knights against my humble English Yeomen on the virtual tabletop, no doubt going down shouting “God for Harry, England, and St George!” And as it turned out, it was almost like that, but not quite. So two players, Mike and myself represented England with English Armies, Rich came from Wales and used a Welsh Army, Will from Scotland with a Scots Amy of dour spearmen in tight packed bristling Schiltrons supported by wild highlanders. as well as players representing Venice, Milan, France, and Denmark.

The study of Mediaeval Warfare via Computer simulations in the form of competitive Wargames has become a mainstream academic study are in recent years, far beyond the simple roll a dice and move some beautifully painted figures around a table top of the 1970s when I first became involved (although this is still a major part of classic wargames hobbies). Hence the interest in this event from academics such as Dr Robert Houghton from the University of Winchester.

The chance of a trip to Milan, and a competitive engagement with some other prolific Mediaeval European Wargamers, alongside the celebration of Matrix/Slitherine’s Italian Office inauguration was a chance not to be missed. So I made it to Heathrow on Monday afternoon, where I had arranged to meet Rich, a fellow traveller (no, not in the sense of a mid twentieth century Cambridge educated closet Russian agent, although who knows eh?) a retired Barrister and High Court Judge, waiting in the BA departures lounge with a cold beer.

Fortified, we made our way to Milan Malpensa airport on our delayed BA flight, touched down, to find practically no queue at all for UK arrivals, into a cab to our hotel, and in bed by 2 a.m.

The next day it was shower, breakfast and off to the Matrix Offices, to get a warm welcome and a draw by lots for the first round of play.

We were in a large room, each of us with an allotted a Dell Alienware laptop for the tournament, whilst an expert Belgian figure painter showed his skills on a nearby table and a number of traditional old style figures games took place behind us. All in all a great display of the various aspects of the hobby, from the artistic to the tangible to the virtual.

The draw lead to a shocker of a game for me, drawn against a French player, also called Paul (right of picture below), with a French army containing Knights, Pikemen, and various other well armed units, including, as I later claimed in the depths of my chagrin at the outcome, an aircraft carrier and F16 fighter jets, of course he didn’t have them, it just felt like it when his Knights trampled my poor bloody infantry caught in the open, and in one instance, before they had managed to emplace their defensive stakes that would have kept the French Knights at bay. The terrain was very open, and despite catching a couple of his Knightly units in ambushes from the sanctuary of woods, Paul totally outplayed me and it was a whitewashing of a victory at 40:0 in his favour!

Having been kicked all around the playground in the first round, I felt I would really have to step up to the plate in the next rounds. We were using a Swiss system, where in each round the highest scorer would play the person below them in the rankings and so on down the listings, and I next came up against my travelling companion Rich.

Rich fielded a Welsh Army, with much more similarity to my English bowmen and spearmen than the French I had faced in the previous round, and although he had a slight advantage in cavalry, I managed to split the game into three sections, with a standoff between Welsh Cavalry and English Archers (behind quickly emplaced stakes this time!) on my left, a shooting match between archers in a large patch of bad ground in the centre, and a ‘refused’ (pulled back) group of archers and cavalry on my right flank, that drew in a body of Rich’s cavalry impetuously charging some light Infantry I had as a screen, and becoming cut off, surrounded, and slaughtered by my refused wing. After that Rich gallantly tried to swap flanks with his cavalry to close the breach in his line, but by then it was too late and my better armed Infantry and Cavalry crushed the Welsh centre and left wing. A good close game, and a win to buy back some pride for me.

Rich was then asked if he would mind doing a quick interview to camera, which he agreed to, but probably wasn’t expecting to be asked “So why do you think you lost so badly in your matches so far?” I must say he took it well, and after he sat back next to me, said: ‘If I’d known what I was going to be asked, I’d have pointed behind me at you and said, “Why don’t you ask him how he managed to lose 40 nil in his first match!” ‘ I did find this funny.

Just before lunch Ole from Denmark and the Chairman of the WGCG International Wargamers’ Club, made a speech thanking Matrix and Slitherine for organising such an enjoyable event, and made a presentation of an original Danish military helmet from WW2 to Paolo who had organised the event. He looked absolutely peachy in it, as the picture clearly shows:

At that point we broke for lunch, and I must say Italian sandwiches are far better than their British equivalents.

After lunch the two top scoring players; Paul my initial French opponent, and Mike another English player with a Yorkist English Army, were filmed for the final, whilst the rest of us, continuing with the Swiss system of pairings, faced up to our next matches.

Before we restarted I wondered over to an open window, and was asked by one of the other players: “What’s it like out?” I had a look, and could only reply “Italy”.

I now faced Ole from Denmark, who I knew was a very experienced player with a strong Danish Army containing with plenty of Axe, spear, and crossbow wielding Heavy Infantry and Knights. So having learned from the previous two games I decided on a change of tactics, and a reconfiguration of my English Army. The battlefield was bisected by a stream, but it was too close to the Danes’ battle line to let me reach it before them and defend it, but fortunately for my English Army there was a hill with some rough ground on it to my front, and two areas of marshland, one to the left of the hill with another hill behind it a gap and then a further marsh behind that. This was terrible ground for the Dane’s to try to fight in, but great for my army, of longbowmen behind stakes and hiding in the marshes. Needless to say my longbows took a terrible toll on the Danish Heavy Infantry unable to make any headway into the marshes, by heavy Billmen (a Bill is a two handed weapon that’s a kind of cross between an axe and a spear) mingled with supporting Longbowmen. Eventually Ole tried to take his mass of Knights and mounted Crossbowmen completely around the back of my troops on the hills, only to be surprised and cut down by silk yard shafts (arrows) from the Longbowmen I had hidden away in the Marsh covering that approach. Needless to say my English army won the day.

The Final was won by Mike with his Yorkist Army against Paul with his French Army, Mike managed to hold the French in a bloody standoff on a Hill, to win the game, however the ultimate standings were decided by the sum of all the scores by player, and Paul and the French managed to clinch First Place, with Mike second, Stefano with his Venetians third, and I managed to scrape a respectable 4th place, especially considering my trouncing in round one!

So after nine hours of battles the competitive Historical Warfare Simulations were over, presentation of trophies done, we were taken off to Antica Pizzeria Leone for an absolutely brilliant Dinner. Unfortunately Stefano, one of the players from Slitherine, was unable to attend the Dinner due to an Anniversary Dinner he was having with his wife that night, I did try to persuade him that he should invite us along, but for some reason he declined.

I’d highly recommend the Antica Pizzeria Leone restaurant if you are in Milan, especially the deep fried Pizza, which I had, and was so big and delicious, that despite being severely full I couldn’t stop eating, they almost had to call a Priest to administer Last Rites, but I would’ve died happy.

Obviously I can’t say what took place at the meal as the Italians made me swear an oath of Omerta, and there was some mention of a horse’s head being delivered by Amazon if I break the oath, but I can say that a brilliant time was had by all. BTW from the picture below we may look anti-social studying our phones at the dinner table, but that was simply because the menu was reached via QR code.

The following day it was up, shower, breakfast then off to Malpensa Airport again. For some reason a young lady at a cosmetics counter decided she wanted to give me a make over – I can only assume she relished a challenge, or was performing some kind of penance? She gave it her best shot despite heckling from the sidelines from Rich,and I must say his subsequent comments were most unflattering towards me on the outcome. I told him I had to do this kind of stuff as my public expected it of me. He wasn’t impressed. Judge for yourself below:

We then spent a relaxing couple of hours in an airport lounge with drinks and snacks, ruminating on the vagaries of Mediaeval Warfare, and how the best laid plans tend to come apart on first contact with the enemy, or as Mike Tyson said:

‘Everyone got a plan until they’re punched in the face.’

Very much like Mediaeval Warfare.